Author Archives: CP Cal Web Admin
Unbundling Collaborative Divorce Myths
The Role of Myths in Assessing Readiness for Collaboration
Often the “elephant or the herd of elephants” in the room are the unspoken myths that exist regarding what the Collaborative Divorce Process is or is not. These myths lead to unrealistic expectations that, if not addressed, can eventually implode the Collaborative process. In this month’s TIPS we are going to unearth and unbundle some of those myths for you.
Myth #1: Because there is no Judge in the room to hold the client’s accountable, there is a myth that one client can take advantage of the other.
Truth: Despite not having a Judge, there are multiple professionals in the room and the primary focus of all of them is accountability. Each party has their own team, including their own attorney and coach. In addition, there is a financial neutral and, if children are involved, a neutral child specialist on the … Read More about Unbundling Myths Assessing Readiness Collaboration
Does Respect Have a Place in a Divorce?
The anger and other emotions that are usually a part of divorce make it pretty hard to be respectful—Can the Collaborative Divorce Process enable the parties to find some level of respect for each other?
The anger and other emotions that are usually a part of divorce make it pretty hard to be respectful—Can the Collaborative Divorce Process enable the parties to find some level of respect for each other?There are many metaphors people use to describe going through a divorce–one is the “leaver” and the other is the “leavee;” one is the windshield and the other is the bug; one is the bat and the other is the ball. There’s a lot of high emotion that’s flowing throughout a divorce; having the coaches in place really allows clients to deal with they must deal with in a constructive and productive manner. In stark contrast is the court system, where the clients must be ready to plow through on the court’s time schedule making decisions that they may not yet be in a good emotional place to be making.
(1) First, the Collaborative Divorce … Read More about Does Respect Have A Place In A Divorce
How Does Divorce Impact Children?
If you ask any adult how their parents’ divorce affected them as children, you’ll get a sad story, even if it has been many years.
If you ask any adult how their parents’ divorce affected them as children, you’ll get a sad story, even if it has been many years.It is difficult for children of all ages when their family changes. Occasionally, when the level of conflict has been high, the divorce can come as a relief. More often, though, divorce is experienced by children as extremely stressful, with lots of powerful emotions swirling around in a confusing way.
There are many factors which make divorce stressful for children.
- Their parents are distracted by their own pain and the difficult decisions they need to make. This means that sometimes kids aren’t getting the attention they need.
- Children always assume that when their parent is feeling strongly it’s because they screwed up in some way. So, in addition to feeling sad, often kids feel vaguely guilty.
- Hearing their parents argue is scary for children, especially
What You Can Learn in the Divorce Options Workshop
Divorce raises so many questions.
Divorce raises so many questions.Divorce is hard, and it is one of the most painful times in anyone’s life. Fear about the future will tend to put your dreams and plans on hold. That fear though can be reduced if you take control of your divorce by learning more about your divorce options. A Divorce Options Workshop is one of the best ways to begin learning what you don’t know about divorce and to help you decide what options might work best for you.
What You Can Learn in the Divorce Options Workshop
The Divorce Options Workshop gives you details of four different ways to go about getting your divorce.
Litigation (going to court).
This is the method that most people know about for handling a divorce. One spouse files a petition with the court seeking a divorce. Both spouses have a lawyer for themselves. Your lawyer represents … Read More about What You Learn Divorce Options Workshop
CP Cal Conference XIII Registration Now Open!
Registration for the 2018 CP Cal Conference XIII is NOW OPEN! For more information and to register, please go to the new conference website at: cpcal.com/cp-cal-annual-conference/.
We look forward to seeing you there!… Read More about Cp Cal Conference Xiii Registration Now Open
Collaborative Divorce Video – Hal Bartholomew on KTXL FOX40
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Collaborative Divorce Video – Hal Bartholomew on KOVR CBS13
… Read More about Collabrative Divorce Video Hal Bartholomen Kovr Cbs13
In a California Divorce, “Community Property” Doesn’t Always Mean 50/50
By Diana L. Martinez, Family Lawyer and Mediator, Law and Mediation Office of Diana L. Martinez – Collaborative Divorce Solutions of Orange County
Ask a family member or friend who lives in California what happens to assets and debts in a divorce, and they’ll probably tell you that everything is split equally. Ask a lawyer practicing family law in California the same question, and they’ll probably tell you “community property”, that is, anything acquired during marriage that isn’t “separate property”, gets split equally between the spouses. Under California law, “separate property” is any asset or debt you acquired before you married, after your “date of separation” or at any time by gift or inheritance.
This equal split of community assets and debts is one of the most misunderstood concepts in a divorce in California. I am frequently asked why divorces are so expensive when “the law says everything is … Read More about California Divorce Community Property Doesnt Always Mean 5050
Getting Out Of Your Right Brain During Your Divorce
By Jann Glasser, Marriage and Family Therapist (MFT), Licensed Clinical Social Worker (LCSW), Coach/Psychotherapist, and Collaborative Coach – Collaborative Divorce Solutions of Orange County
Whether or not you’ve navigated emotional stress in your life before, you are in for a whole new experience during a divorce. Once the decision to divorce is made and the process is underway, don’t be surprised to find your heart pounding and your thoughts racing as if you were driving in the Indy 500. Fear and dread can grab you the instant you get an email, text or voicemail from your attorney, accountant or spouse.
It is all happening because you are being ruled not by your everyday brain, but by your brain on divorce; easily triggered, distraught and overwhelmed. You are reacting as if you are under attack, trying to function while stressed, sad, and sleep deprived. It’s not going so well, is it?… Read More about Getting Right Brain Divorce
How a Collaborative Divorce Coach Can Help You Through This Life Transition With Less Trauma
by Jann Glasser, LSCW, LMFT
Divorce is a major life transition, at least as significant as getting married. But too often, couples spend far less time preparing for this change than they do planning their wedding reception. When they do, their energy goes toward decision about the division of property, instead of the far more important division of two lives.
Couples believe everything will be tidied up and finished when a court issues their decree of dissolution. But it rarely feels this way, making individuals anxious there will be no end to the disorientation and emotional pain they feel.
Closure can come more easily when couples make the conscious decision to pursue a Collaborative Divorce, where a professional team including legal, financial, and mental health experts facilitates peacemaking instead of helping the transitioning couple to wage war on each other.
Depending upon the needs of the couple, various professionals are … Read More about Collaborative Divorce Coach Can Help Life Transition Less Trauma