Author Archives: Eric Bonar
“Separation Ambivalence”: When Divorce Has Begun, But Separation Has Not
~ By: Jon Kramer, LCSW, Heidi Tuffias, Esq., M.A., and Anna Addleman, CPA, CDFA®
As consensual divorce professionals, we have observed a growing trend among amicable couples pursuing a consensual divorce resolution (CDR). These parties express clear intentions to dissolve their marriage; tell us how amicable they are and how smoothly their divorce process will proceed. However, as the process unfolds, it becomes apparent that while they are divorcing, they are not yet physically-financially-emotionally separated.
These cases frequently involve couples who are cohabitating, sharing combined finances, co-parenting without having told the children they are separating and even maintaining social and sexual connections. Despite their best intentions, these cases linger—progress slows, decision-making including coparenting stalls, and often, the process unravels altogether.
These “amicable” couples are tangled in the initial Kubler-Ross stages of grief beyond anything that anyone was prepared for or expecting. We have come to call these situations “unseparated cases”.… Read More about Separation Ambivalence When Divorce Has Begun But Separation Has Not
Call for Presenters – CP Cal Celebration XVIII
CP Cal is looking for dynamic and cutting-edge programming and presenters for CP Cal Celebration XVIII in Redondo Beach, April 26-28, 2024. We are planning for an in-person Celebration. We will do our best to adapt as needed. Submit your proposal or nominate a colleague to present at Celebration XVIII.
Deadline for submitting proposals extended to October 1, 2023!
In anticipation of another outstanding Celebration, the Program Committee is accepting Workshop and Pre-Celebration Institute proposals earlier than in years past. We encourage tracks for all levels of practitioners through a combination of 90-minute and 3-hour workshops, as well as 6-hour Pre-Celebration Institutes and three 60–90-minute plenaries. Workshops that offer educational opportunities for our statewide multidisciplinary membership (mental health professionals, financial specialists, and lawyers) are strongly encouraged.
Continuing Education
Continuing education (“CE”) is available to financial, mental health, and legal professionals. To qualify for CE, all presenters who are selected must provide the … Read More about Call For Presenters Cp Cal Celebration Xviii
When A Professional or Client is Adversarial/Positional . . .
-by Ria Severance, LMFT © April, 2023
Coaching for Mediations/Collaborative Divorces
Points of Coaching for Any Negotiations:
In Mediations/Collaborative Divorces,
- We’re transparent in all financial matters . . . this is legally required in all divorce processes.
- We don’t “advocate” or “defend” as this requires us to advocate or defend against someone else. Instead we “empower” – we ensure you have a clear, respectful voice and help toincrease your negotiation skills and skills for effectively parenting/co-parenting your children in ways that buffer them from damage.
- We can’t and don’t follow the “letter of the law” at the expense of family members (not including adult children who are expected to be self-supporting), especially when members include minor children and/or dependent adults.
- We consider the wellbeing of all family members.
- We prioritize the children’s (dependent adult’s) wellbeing in ways no other models do.
- This is not a
The Value of a Collaborative Divorce: Priceless!
By originally posted at Collaborative Divorce California.
A collaborative divorce may save clients’ money over a litigated divorce, but can still be costly from just a monetary standpoint. However, the Collaborative Divorce’s value extends far beyond the financial cost. Here are some value-additions offered to collaborative clients:
A Divorce Centered Around Shared Values.
Clients can prioritize shared values with team support. Clients make all the important decisions about their lives, while the team stays in charge of a process that prioritizes the wellbeing of all family members.
A Child/Adult-Child Inclusive Divorce.
The child specialist is neutral, and gives children, including adult children, a voice (not inappropriate choices), assesses their needs and divorce-related concerns, and provides support. The child specialist also offers critical feedback to coaches about special concerns for the parenting plan and needed parenting and co-parenting skills. Children, teens and adult children feel heard and know their … Read More about The Value Of A Collaborative Divorce Priceless
Blogs Matter
You may ask yourself, “Do blogs really matter? It seems like a lot of work without a lot of benefit.” I can tell you they do matter. They educate the public about the subject matter and also attract potential clients. Here’s an example: I wrote a blog regarding Collaborative Prenups. The title of the blog is, “Is There Such a Thing as a Collaborative Prenup?” It was posted on the Collaborative Divorce California website in January 2022. It happens to be a topic I care very greatly about. A Collaborative process for premarital agreements gives engaged couples the opportunity to talk about their prospective lives together and to identify their collective and individual goals and interests. Before any agreement is drafted, they have a guiding set of principles and have a working understanding of the objectives they want the agreement to cover.
After the blog was posted, … Read More about Blogs Matter