CP Cal is looking for dynamic and cutting-edge programming and presenters for CP Cal Celebration XVIII in Redondo Beach, April 26-28, 2024. We are planning for an in-person Celebration. We will do our best to adapt as needed. Submit your proposal or nominate a colleague to present at Celebration XVIII.
Deadline for submitting proposals extended to October 1, 2023!
In anticipation of another outstanding Celebration, the Program Committee is accepting Workshop and Pre-Celebration Institute proposals earlier than in years past. We encourage tracks for all levels of practitioners through a combination of 90-minute and 3-hour workshops, as well as 6-hour Pre-Celebration Institutes and three 60–90-minute plenaries. Workshops that offer educational opportunities for our statewide multidisciplinary membership (mental health professionals, financial specialists, and lawyers) are strongly encouraged.
Continuing education (“CE”) is available to financial, mental health, and legal professionals. To qualify for CE, all presenters who are selected must provide the … Read More
-by Ria Severance, LMFT © April, 2023
Coaching for Mediations/Collaborative Divorces
Points of Coaching for Any Negotiations:
In Mediations/Collaborative Divorces,
- We’re transparent in all financial matters . . . this is legally required in all divorce processes.
- We don’t “advocate” or “defend” as this requires us to advocate or defend against someone else. Instead we “empower” – we ensure you have a clear, respectful voice and help toincrease your negotiation skills and skills for effectively parenting/co-parenting your children in ways that buffer them from damage.
- We can’t and don’t follow the “letter of the law” at the expense of family members (not including adult children who are expected to be self-supporting), especially when members include minor children and/or dependent adults.
- We consider the wellbeing of all family members.
- We prioritize the children’s (dependent adult’s) wellbeing in ways no other models do.
- This is not a
A collaborative divorce may save clients’ money over a litigated divorce, but can still be costly from just a monetary standpoint. However, the Collaborative Divorce’s value extends far beyond the financial cost. Here are some value-additions offered to collaborative clients:
A Divorce Centered Around Shared Values.
Clients can prioritize shared values with team support. Clients make all the important decisions about their lives, while the team stays in charge of a process that prioritizes the wellbeing of all family members.
A Child/Adult-Child Inclusive Divorce.
The child specialist is neutral, and gives children, including adult children, a voice (not inappropriate choices), assesses their needs and divorce-related concerns, and provides support. The child specialist also offers critical feedback to coaches about special concerns for the parenting plan and needed parenting and co-parenting skills. Children, teens and adult children feel heard and know their … Read More
You may ask yourself, “Do blogs really matter? It seems like a lot of work without a lot of benefit.” I can tell you they do matter. They educate the public about the subject matter and also attract potential clients. Here’s an example: I wrote a blog regarding Collaborative Prenups. The title of the blog is, “Is There Such a Thing as a Collaborative Prenup?” It was posted on the Collaborative Divorce California website in January 2022. It happens to be a topic I care very greatly about. A Collaborative process for premarital agreements gives engaged couples the opportunity to talk about their prospective lives together and to identify their collective and individual goals and interests. Before any agreement is drafted, they have a guiding set of principles and have a working understanding of the objectives they want the agreement to cover.
After the blog was posted, … Read More
It’s the final meeting in your client’s Collaborative Divorce process. You are looking around the table and see that each client and professional appears ready to proceed. You have thoroughly prepared your client to be able to reach agreement with his spouse. Alas! Within the first half hour of this final meeting you realize that both your client and the other client are tenaciously clinging to their positions! You ask yourself how this could happen?
It’s important for everyone to become Agreement Ready.
Even experienced collaborative divorce practitioners often fail to understand how all professionals on an interdisciplinary team can assist clients, even high-conflict clients, to become Agreement Ready. At CP Cal’s Celebration XIV on Sunday, on April 28, 2019, in San Diego, trainers Bart Carey, Cathleen Collinsworth and … Read More
By Ann Gold Buscho, Ph.D.
Clinical Psychologist and Collaborative Law Coach
When parents are considering separation or divorce, their biggest worry is most often about the children.
Today’s parents increasingly determine to protect their kids from the potential damage that a high-conflict divorce may cause. The best parents are willing to set aside their own anger, sadness, fear or guilt, in order to make a safe nest for their children. Fortunately, there is an alternative to the old-school “broken home.” New approaches, such as “conscious uncoupling” and collaborative divorce, give us hope for a respectful divorce while keeping the welfare of the family in focus.
Nesting Workshop at Celebration XIV
In her workshop on Sunday, April 28, 2019 at the CP Cal Celebration XIV in beautiful San Diego, clinical psychologist, Collaborative Divorce coach and former nester Ann Buscho, Ph.D. will walk you through the necessary steps to guide parents in … Read More
The Role of Myths in Assessing Readiness for Collaboration
Often the “elephant or the herd of elephants” in the room are the unspoken myths that exist regarding what the Collaborative Divorce Process is or is not. These myths lead to unrealistic expectations that, if not addressed, can eventually implode the Collaborative process. In this month’s TIPS we are going to unearth and unbundle some of those myths for you.
Myth #1: Because there is no Judge in the room to hold the client’s accountable, there is a myth that one client can take advantage of the other.
Truth: Despite not having a Judge, there are multiple professionals in the room and the primary focus of all of them is accountability. Each party has their own team, including their own attorney and coach. In addition, there is a financial neutral and, if children are involved, a neutral child specialist on the … Read More
The anger and other emotions that are usually a part of divorce make it pretty hard to be respectful—Can the Collaborative Divorce Process enable the parties to find some level of respect for each other?
There are many metaphors people use to describe going through a divorce–one is the “leaver” and the other is the “leavee;” one is the windshield and the other is the bug; one is the bat and the other is the ball. There’s a lot of high emotion that’s flowing throughout a divorce; having the coaches in place really allows clients to deal with they must deal with in a constructive and productive manner. In stark contrast is the court system, where the clients must be ready to plow through on the court’s time schedule making decisions that they may not yet be in a good emotional place to be making.
(1) First, the Collaborative Divorce … Read More
If you ask any adult how their parents’ divorce affected them as children, you’ll get a sad story, even if it has been many years.
It is difficult for children of all ages when their family changes. Occasionally, when the level of conflict has been high, the divorce can come as a relief. More often, though, divorce is experienced by children as extremely stressful, with lots of powerful emotions swirling around in a confusing way.
There are many factors which make divorce stressful for children.
- Their parents are distracted by their own pain and the difficult decisions they need to make. This means that sometimes kids aren’t getting the attention they need.
- Children always assume that when their parent is feeling strongly it’s because they screwed up in some way. So, in addition to feeling sad, often kids feel vaguely guilty.
- Hearing their parents argue is scary for children, especially
Divorce raises so many questions.
Divorce is hard, and it is one of the most painful times in anyone’s life. Fear about the future will tend to put your dreams and plans on hold. That fear though can be reduced if you take control of your divorce by learning more about your divorce options. A Divorce Options Workshop is one of the best ways to begin learning what you don’t know about divorce and to help you decide what options might work best for you.
What You Can Learn in the Divorce Options Workshop
The Divorce Options Workshop gives you details of four different ways to go about getting your divorce.
Litigation (going to court).
This is the method that most people know about for handling a divorce. One spouse files a petition with the court seeking a divorce. Both spouses have a lawyer for themselves. Your lawyer represents … Read More