Category Archives: Coping With Divorce
“Separation Ambivalence”: When Divorce Has Begun, But Separation Has Not
~ By: Jon Kramer, LCSW, Heidi Tuffias, Esq., M.A., and Anna Addleman, CPA, CDFA®
As consensual divorce professionals, we have observed a growing trend among amicable couples pursuing a consensual divorce resolution (CDR). These parties express clear intentions to dissolve their marriage; tell us how amicable they are and how smoothly their divorce process will proceed. However, as the process unfolds, it becomes apparent that while they are divorcing, they are not yet physically-financially-emotionally separated.
These cases frequently involve couples who are cohabitating, sharing combined finances, co-parenting without having told the children they are separating and even maintaining social and sexual connections. Despite their best intentions, these cases linger—progress slows, decision-making including coparenting stalls, and often, the process unravels altogether.
These “amicable” couples are tangled in the initial Kubler-Ross stages of grief beyond anything that anyone was prepared for or expecting. We have come to call these situations “unseparated cases”.… Read More about Separation Ambivalence When Divorce Has Begun But Separation Has Not
In a California Divorce, “Community Property” Doesn’t Always Mean 50/50
By Diana L. Martinez, Family Lawyer and Mediator, Law and Mediation Office of Diana L. Martinez – Collaborative Divorce Solutions of Orange County
Ask a family member or friend who lives in California what happens to assets and debts in a divorce, and they’ll probably tell you that everything is split equally. Ask a lawyer practicing family law in California the same question, and they’ll probably tell you “community property”, that is, anything acquired during marriage that isn’t “separate property”, gets split equally between the spouses. Under California law, “separate property” is any asset or debt you acquired before you married, after your “date of separation” or at any time by gift or inheritance.
This equal split of community assets and debts is one of the most misunderstood concepts in a divorce in California. I am frequently asked why divorces are so expensive when “the law says everything is … Read More about California Divorce Community Property Doesnt Always Mean 5050
Getting Out Of Your Right Brain During Your Divorce
By Jann Glasser, Marriage and Family Therapist (MFT), Licensed Clinical Social Worker (LCSW), Coach/Psychotherapist, and Collaborative Coach – Collaborative Divorce Solutions of Orange County
Whether or not you’ve navigated emotional stress in your life before, you are in for a whole new experience during a divorce. Once the decision to divorce is made and the process is underway, don’t be surprised to find your heart pounding and your thoughts racing as if you were driving in the Indy 500. Fear and dread can grab you the instant you get an email, text or voicemail from your attorney, accountant or spouse.
It is all happening because you are being ruled not by your everyday brain, but by your brain on divorce; easily triggered, distraught and overwhelmed. You are reacting as if you are under attack, trying to function while stressed, sad, and sleep deprived. It’s not going so well, is it?… Read More about Getting Right Brain Divorce