Led by the Communication specialist or coach, the Collaborative team can facilitate these difficult conversations. Through open and respectful discussion, parties can make their wishes known and understood to lessen hurt feelings due to surprises after death.  Under the traditional model, a party makes decisions about the trustee, executor or agent. If a party passes over a child who expects to play this role, he or she is likely to resent the person appointed to act in this capacity, whether a sibling or a stranger. He or she may express resentment by pushing back or even resorting to litigation.