By Ria Severance, LMFT originally posted at Collaborative Divorce California.

A collaborative divorce may save clients’ money over a litigated divorce, but can still be costly from just a monetary standpoint. However, the Collaborative Divorce’s value extends far beyond the financial cost. Here are some value-additions offered to collaborative clients: 

A Divorce Centered Around Shared Values. 

Clients can prioritize shared values with team support. Clients make all the important decisions about their lives, while the team stays in charge of a process that prioritizes the wellbeing of all family members.

A Child/Adult-Child Inclusive Divorce. 

The child specialist is neutral, and gives children, including adult children, a voice (not inappropriate choices), assesses their needs and divorce-related concerns, and provides support. The child specialist also offers critical feedback to coaches about special concerns for the parenting plan and needed parenting and co-parenting skills. Children, teens and adult children feel heard and know their concerns matter.

Preservation of Relationships. 

A functional and respectful co-parenting relationship can be developed, fostered and preserved, allowing children to see their parents as a reliable, steady and present team, even while living in two homes. Parent-child challenges can be addressed so children can remain connected to both parents in positive, healthy ways.

Preservation of Family Assets. 

The financial specialist (a neutral) facilitates the transparent sharing of financial information at the outset. This allows for greater trust, sound financial decision-making and an ability to project future budgets before negotiations even begin. Concerns such as retirement, college planning and what’s needed to buy a home can all be addressed.

More Effective Communication. 

Married couples often do not communicate well and it can get far worse during any divorce. Coaches help clients learn needed communication skills to suit their new roles as co-parents and/or divorcing partners.

A Smoother Transition. 

Divorce brings many changes to a family. While clients begin their independent lives, coaches help them transition from married partners to co-parents by building skills to: establish new boundaries, manage difficult emotions, grow new ways to engage co-parenting needs, and learn to co-parent by agreement and through disagreements. Clients can practice new skills in real time, with a supportive team that models the same.

The Right Professional for the Right Tasks. 

Clients get better value for their money when financials deal with finances, the child specialist attends to the children/adult children, coaches deal with challenging emotions, communication and parenting, while the lawyers take care of the legal issues. Unlike a similar or greater number of professionals in litigation, all our professionals work together. Everyone does what they do best, in synchronized collaboration.

A Team. 

The professional team shares information and models working together to serve the well being of all family members. Attorneys, coaches and clients “cross talk” to dissipate and avoid adversarial positioning, and to help clients see their shared humanity.

Less Stress. 

Any divorce process is a significant, challenging life crisis. At every juncture, a collaborative process that pulls for civility and respect makes it significantly easier on everyone, especially children.